Our most hurtful and aggressive reactions often occur when we experience some form of disappointment. When this happens, it’s often because we resent the other person for not measuring up to a standard we think we need. While it can seem like the disappointments we have about others are the reasons we lash out, those feelings often evaporate if we apply the standards to ourselves instead of projecting them onto others.
If we can turn our expectation inward, instead of projecting it outward, then our next experience is often a realization that not even the one who has the expectations can always meet such demanding standards. If we can approach that shift with openness, then our expectations can be dissolved through the power of our greater shared humanity and self-acceptance.
Meeting ourselves where we are helps us connect with the true wholeness we can always access. From this space of deep self-acceptance, there is no need to criticize other people’s edges or be in relationships where anyone’s potential is confused with the reality at hand.
The path of owning our projections and giving compassion to ourselves and others (instead of judgment) will help us recognize what is and isn’t good for us and bring us into deeper harmony with ourselves and our relationships.
For help to bring “right relationship” into your life, see Sharon Burch, APRN, at the Atma Clinic: www.AtmaClinic.com/services.