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By Sharon Burch 20 Dec, 2022
One of the big stressors for a lot of us is “All the Undone Things” on our task list, in our emails box, and around our homes. “All the Undone Things” can feel overwhelming, weigh us down, make us scramble, or distract ourselves so as not to think about anything we could easily get done at the moment. The stress comes from thinking we need to have all of that stuff done as soon as possible, but it's virtually impossible to keep up on everything because no matter how much we do, there will always be more. Washing the dishes one day doesn't mean there won't be more dishes, and answering all our messages does nothing to avoid more messages. It can be incredibly liberating to let go of the need to do it all. How is that possible? Should we just scrap our lists and not do anything except what we absolutely have to do? That’s probably not going to make for an enjoyable life or keep us on top of what's necessary to cover at a minimum. The balance might be to let go of the need to get it all done and focus on the big impact things on your list, one at a time. Choose your most refreshed, attentive times of the day to focus on what’s most important to you, and choose one or two times per day to catch up on emails, messages, and small organizational tasks, knowing you won't get all those done. Let that be okay. Instead of looking at our tasks as a never-ending list of things we need to get done right away, what if it we saw that list as a grab-bag of opportunities? Seeing opportunities instead of burdens and might-dos instead of must-dos can bring us greater freedom in engaging with day-to-day chores. Instead of feeling anxious about the entire list, we can aim our minds toward what would feel delightful to accomplish today. What would be a powerful step toward the impact you'd like to contribute to the world? What would light you up right now? Then at the end of your day, we can simply practice wrapping things up and shutting down instead of feeling guilty about getting the rest we need or like we have to get so much more done, which can otherwise lead to overwork, burnout, and rarely or never letting ourselves enjoy feeling rested. Here's some tips for reducing the guilt and fear associated with the need to do it all so that we can embrace greater rest and even more joy: 1. Recognize it when it's happening. When it's late in the day and we could be wrapping things up and closing our workday, we can notice the urge to do more. Notice the guilt of stopping. Just bringing awareness to the fear and guilt, without judging those feelings or needing them to go away, is the first step. 2. Breathe and feel. Pause, take a few deep breaths, and don't give power to the fear. Feel the physical sensation of the fear, but don't give into it. Give yourself some kindness and self-compassion around the guilt or fear you are feeling. 3. Use slower breathing, specifically slower exhalation to reduce your fear. Slower exhalations create slower heart rates and slower brain wave patterns. This is called “polyvagal breathing” if you want to research it, and it reliably reduces anxiety and the fight, flight, or freeze responses in most people. Simply breathe naturally on inhalation, then make your exhalation a little longer. · Repeat this breathing cycle four or more times, then focus on one task without interruption. · For bonus benefits, let yourself exhale with a sigh or make another low-pitched sound, like a low growl or foghorn. The low-pitch sound increases the relaxing effects of the long exhalation. · When you notice your attention veering, kindly bring your attention back to breathing with longer exhalation than inhalation. 4. Remind yourself of a bigger truth. The idea that you should be on top of everything and working harder and harder can feel really true in the moment, but it is very rarely the bigger truth. Ask yourself: What is a bigger truth? Do you need rest to be able to serve others? Do you have the right to spend time with others, to take care of yourself, to feel joy at spaciousness in your life? Is this is a healthy model for living? 5. Then take a rest. Feel in your heart how this is worthwhile, and let yourself enjoy the space. You don't need to fill every moment with more work, more messages, more “To-Dos”. What can you do today to practice letting go of needing to do it all? _______________ Sharon Burch, APRN provides holistic health counseling and has been in healthcare for over 30 years with a focus on Holistic nursing. She welcomes comments to her post also. Consider visiting the clinic soon. -- call us at 785-760-0695. Please follow us on Facebook , Instagram , Twitter, and LinkedIn for the latest news and services
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